Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Senator Miriam's Politician Jokes

The irrepressible Senator Miriam Defensor- Santiago does it again with her latest jokes on politicians.

The feisty and opinionated senator gets my nod for her ability to laugh at herself and is known for her ability not only to defuse tension in the chamber but also for sowing fear among those who dare cross her path

HERE'S HER LATEST ARSENAL OF JOKES:

1. What do you call the act of throwing garbage into the seas?

Answer: Pollution

What do you call the act of throwing corrupt politicians into the seas?

Answer: Solution



2. If you lie to congressmen or senators while under oath, you will be charged with Perjury and slapped with a jail term

But if certain congressmen or senators will lie to you, they are not only doing their jobs, they are also assuring themselves already of another term

3. How to tell if a politician is telling the truth:

Whenever he’s crossing his arms, he may be telling the truth.

Whenever he’s stoking his chin, he might be telling the truth.

Whenever he looks at you straight in the eyes, he might be telling the truth.

But when he opens his mouth, he is lying


 4. There was a study on the connection between government employees and the sport they play. The following findings were made:

BASKETBALL is the favorite sport for entry- level government employees 

BOWLING  is the favorite sport for lower management position

TENNIS is the favorite sport for upper management level position

GOLF is the favorite sport for high- level government officials

The study then made this conclusion:

The higher the position, the smaller your balls 

5. Three surgeons were overheard discussing who they consider as the easiest to operate on:

Surgeon # 1: Electricians 

– Because everything inside them is color-coded.

Surgeon #2: Librarians

Because everything inside them is in alphabetical order.

Surgeon # 3: Politicians 

They have no brains. They have no guts. They have no hearts AND they have no balls


6. Top Three Most Dishonest Jobs in the Philippines:

Third Place: Beauticians for they always tell a client that she is beautiful even if it's a lie

Second Place: Jeepney Conductors for they would always insist that there are seats for two more when obviously there isn't any 

And Finally, the Top Spot for the Most Prolific Liar belongs to the Politician. Enuff said. That's the end of the story


                      

Source: Rappler Facebook Page

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